


The Persistence of Memory

by sci_fis



Series: Season 12 Codas [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode Related, Episode: s12e01 Keep Calm and Carry On, Episode: s12e02 Mamma Mia, Gradual Healing, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Screenplay/Script Format, season 12, spoilers for season 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-23 19:52:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8340502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sci_fis/pseuds/sci_fis
Summary: Codas for 12.01 and 12.02. Because the show will never address these things.





	1. Chapter 1

INT. Sam’s room. Enter Dean, holding two steaming mugs.

DEAN  
Hey.

SAM  
(looking up from his book)  
Hey, Dean.

DEAN  
(sets one mug on the night-table next to Sam)  
What’re you still doing up?

SAM  
I dunno. Couldn’t sleep, I guess.

DEAN  
Long day.

SAM  
Yeah.

DEAN  
(after a beat)  
A long couple of days, really.

SAM  
(softly, not meeting Dean’s eyes)  
The longest.

DEAN  
How’re you doing? Cass fix you up good?

SAM  
Uh… yeah. Yeah, I’m good.

DEAN  
Lemme see.

SAM  
Dean, I said I’m…

DEAN  
Just… let me see, all right? Just let me make sure.

SAM  
(placating)  
OK, OK, already.

Sam takes off his plaid shirt. He’s wearing a black v-necked t-shirt underneath. He hesitates for a moment, then pulls it over his head.

SAM  
See? All fixed.

DEAN  
I remember.

SAM  
What?

DEAN  
Every wound. 

Dean raises his hand to Sam’s face.

DEAN  
Here.

He touches Sam’s face very lightly, just under his cheekbone.

DEAN  
Your skin was cut here. It was recent, still bleeding. It must’ve been done just minutes before I was brought in.

SAM  
(in barely above a whisper)  
Yeah. Dean…

DEAN  
(touching Sam’s chest)  
And here. Here. Here.

His fingertips touch each remembered spot on Sam’s chest.

DEAN  
Sam, did they…

Dean’s hand is on Sam’s knee, gripping his jeans. Sam knows what he’s asking.

SAM  
No, Dean. Nothing, uh, below the waist. Except for the gunshot wound. And, uh... my foot.

Dean lets out a bitter laugh, a short, harsh sound.

DEAN  
Yeah. Nothing except for those little minor details.

SAM  
(quietly)  
I’m fine.

DEAN  
Like hell you are.

Sam winces.

DEAN  
Sorry, poor choice of words.

SAM  
(tiredly)  
What do you want, Dean?

DEAN  
I… 

He balls his hands into fists. Takes several deep breaths, unclenches his hands.

DEAN  
To take it all back. To wipe it away, undo it all, make sure it never happened.

SAM  
The last few days?

DEAN  
Everything. God, Sam. Everything. Every single fucking thing.

SAM  
I… what do you mean?

DEAN  
The last few days. What I did to you when I was a demon. What I did to you when I _wasn’t_ a demon. Gadreel. The trials. Lucifer. Hell. Cold Oak. Jessica’s death. Fuck, Sammy. Even the time you were seven and skinned your knee so bad I had to take you to get a tetanus shot. 

SAM  
You want to take away my entire life?

DEAN  
What? That’s not what I—

SAM  
Because you just described my life, Dean. You take all that away, there’ll be nothing left of me. Nothing left for you to save.

DEAN  
Damn it, Sam, that’s not what—

SAM  
I know it’s not what you meant. It’s never what you mean to say, is it? “Sam, you’re a freak. Sam, you should have been the one to die. Sam, I don’t trust you. Sam, I’d rather trust a vampire or demon or angel than you. Sam—”

DEAN  
(whispers)  
Stop it.

A single tear slides down his face.

SAM  
I’m sorry. I should've just kept my mouth shut. You don’t need to feel bad, Dean. I’m used to it.

DEAN  
(barely above a whisper)  
You’re breaking my heart, kid.

SAM  
(choppily)  
No, Dean. You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to… to fucking _empathize_ or… or whatever when I get hurt. Not if you go right back to treating me like shit the next time you—

DEAN  
(pacing)  
The next time I what? Huh? Get turned into a demon? Get cursed by the Mark of Cain? Get controlled by God’s sister? You don’t think I know what it feels like, Sam? You think the things I do… the things I’ve had to do… you think I’ve enjoyed them?

Sam, still on the bed, looks up at his brother with widened eyes. He appears very young.

SAM  
I never said that.

He stands and puts his hand on Dean’s arm to make him stop. Dean turns to him in a sharp movement, and Sam recoils reflexively. 

DEAN  
(horror on his face)  
I’m not going to hurt you.

He raises his hand as if to touch Sam’s face again, but lets it drop. He sits down heavily at the edge of the bed, covering his face with a shaking hand.

DEAN  
(muffled, whispering)  
I’d never hurt you.

Sam moves closer to him. Dean doesn’t look up, his face in shadow. Sam puts his hand on top of Dean’s head.

SAM  
I want to tell you everything. Everything that they did to me. Everything… that kept me alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coda to episode 1.

Scene 1

INT. Basement. Sam is tied to a chair. The torture hasn’t started yet. An indistinct figure stands before him, saying something that isn’t clearly audible.

DEAN  
(appearing behind Sam)   
Hey, Sammy.

SAM  
Dean? Dean!

DEAN  
Sshh, little brother. Talk to me in your head, OK?

SAM  
(visibly deflating)  
You aren’t really here.

DEAN  
Does it matter? To quote your big gay hero, just because it’s happening in your head doesn’t mean it’s not real, Sammy.

Sam chokes back an almost-laugh. 

DEAN  
(softly, right into Sam’s ear, his hands squeezing Sam’s shoulders)  
Remember we watched the previews of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_?

SAM   
(whispering)  
We high-fived each other at the line about Dumbledore and “the man he fell in love with.” We’d planned to watch it together, you and me. 

DEAN  
First day, first show, even, if we could swing it. 

SAM  
(voiceover—he doesn’t want his torturers to know he’s imagining Dean, talking to him)  
I knew even then that we wouldn’t make it, not with God and Amara wreaking havoc in the known universe, but still. 

DEAN  
It was something to look forward to, something…

SAM  
(voiceover)   
…to get us through the nights and the Darkness-infused days.

DEAN  
(fond)  
Such a fuckin’ poet, sweetheart.

Sam barely manages to keep from smiling.

SAM  
(voiceover)  
I’m glad you’re here, Dean.

DEAN  
Wouldn’t be anywhere else, kiddo.

 

Scene 2

INT. Basement. A blue light burns brightly near Sam’s foot. It’s Watts with the blowtorch.

SAM  
(voiceover, whispering)  
Don’t watch this.

DEAN  
(gripping Sam’s shoulders)  
Gonna kill them, Sammy. Gonna tear them apart when I get my hands on them.

SAM  
(voiceover)  
Just keep your hands on me. Please.

DEAN  
(kneels behind Sam’s chair, wrapping his arms around Sam)  
Not going anywhere, little brother.

Sam screams as his skin burns. Dean clings on, squeezing his eyes shut.

 

Scene 3. Sam is on the stairs, utterly exhausted and in pain.

SAM  
Dean?

Dean appears instantly, kneeling before Sam. He touches Sam’s face tenderly.

DEAN  
Right here. I’m right here.

Sam leans heavily against him, taking comfort from an apparition.

SAM  
(barely audible)  
Gone. You’re gone. Blown to bits. Into the Empty.

DEAN  
Sshh. It’s OK. Gonna be OK.

He keeps holding Sam, mindful of his injuries. He kisses Sam’s hair, his forehead.

SAM  
Stay with me.

DEAN  
Always.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. ♥


End file.
